


The Place You're From, With New Colors

by Fangirlwriting



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders is a Dark Side, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, Gen, Virgil leaving the Dark Sides
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:33:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25955266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirlwriting/pseuds/Fangirlwriting
Summary: Virgil always knew he would have to adjust after leaving the dark sides.  What he didn't expect was to find similarities between the two groups.  He supposed he should have.  They were all still part of one person, after all.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 14
Kudos: 82





	The Place You're From, With New Colors

Virgil couldn’t say he was entirely unfamiliar with affection. Janus had shared his affection in his own way, usually with a lot of sarcasm involved. Remus showed affection through ripping his spine out and presenting it to Virgil twisted up like a balloon animal. Virgil had difficulty sharing how he felt, especially if it was to someone he cared about, but he would usually find his own ways to show that he did care, usually by doing a couple of chores around the house or something else that could be easily written off.

But Virgil was unfamiliar with Patton.

He had left less than a week ago, and the wound was still fresh. He missed the meals Janus cooked and Remus showing up at random times to announce to Virgil his plans for them to jump out of a moving car.

…Okay, maybe he didn’t miss Remus quite as much. He hadn’t slept for a week after Remus shared that plan. But he wasn’t going to deny that he’d thought about going back more than once. Especially with someone like Patton around. Roman and Logan had mostly left Virgil alone since he’d appeared, but Patton was constantly checking on him, making sure he was okay, and getting concerned if Virgil ever told him he wasn’t. It was irritating, especially since what Virgil really needed right now was time to be alone and figure out if this was really what he wanted.

“G’morning, kiddo!” Patton called happily, as Virgil walked into the kitchen one morning.

Virgil grumbled something about coffee and was about to start making something when Patton slipped a cup into his hands.

Virgil blinked down at it in surprise and was about to ask Patton what in the world this was for when Roman bounded boisterously into the kitchen.

“Good morning, Padre!” he called loudly, and Virgil yelped and dropped the coffee mug.

It shattered on the ground at his feet, and Patton and Roman both stared at him for a minute before Roman glared and crossed his arms. “Wonderful. Thank you for again making this a fabulous start to the day, Anxiety. That was my favorite mug.”

Virgil glared at Roman, but didn’t say anything as he elbowed past him into the living room.

He pulled his headphones out from his hoodie pocket and slipped them over his ears. He made it through a couple songs before glancing over at the side table to see another mug of coffee and a note.

Sorry Roman’s being grumpy. Don’t worry, he can fix the mug easily. -Patton

Virgil picked up the coffee hesitantly and took a sip. There was a little too much sugar for his preference (meaning there was any sugar at all), but he couldn’t help and be reminded of a similar situation in a different time.

_“Virgil?” Janus knocked uncharacteristically quietly at the door, and Virgil buried his head in his knees again. “Virgil, I got Remus to put out the fire. You can come out again.”_

_Virgil hissed._

_Janus sighed in exasperation. “Virgil, don’t be like that.”_

_Virgil pulled his headphones out and shoved them over his ears without moving his head from his knees._

_Janus must have left eventually, because when Virgil finally pulled his headphones off there was no talking at the door. He walked over hesitantly and opened it. He looked down to see his portion of dinner sitting there, still hot. Janus must have either just put it there or been focusing on keeping it warm. Virgil took it hesitantly and found a note underneath it._

_Remus is waiting in his room if you want to give him a lesson on fire safety._

_Virgil smiled a little and took the plate into his room. No harm in making Remus wait until he was done eating. He could always take the time to practice patience._

Virgil took a sip of the coffee and tried not to cry.

…

After a while, leaving stopped being as painful. Virgil was sure it had been the right decision. He had been close to falling apart with the others, and it was starting to affect Thomas, he wasn’t sure what would have happened if he stayed much longer. But that didn’t mean the echoes of Janus that he saw through Patton didn’t sting. Virgil tried his best to antagonize him to get him to stop, but unlike Janus, Patton was a ball of sunshine who couldn’t seem to understand that Virgil was trying to hurt him.

Most of the time, when Virgil had enough of Patton but still wasn’t being left alone by him, Logan tolerated his presence. Virgil didn’t push it as far as trying to enter his room, but if Logan happened to be in the commons Virgil could usually sit there with his headphones or his fidget cube and pretend he was there for Logan, and Patton wouldn’t bother him, since he liked to see Virgil bonding with the other sides.

On this particular day Logan was watching a documentary. Virgil wasn’t paying close attention until he looked up and shrieked in fear.

_“What the fuck is that?!”_ he cried, leaping off his chair and hiding behind it when he caught a glance of the screen.

Logan turned to face him, looking surprised at Virgil’s reaction. “A fangtooth,” he said. “It is a deep sea fish. They are quite interesting looking, are they not?”

Virgil stared at Logan. “Interesting isn’t the word I’d use,” he choked out. “Why the fuck would you want to watch a documentary about that thing?”

“About deep sea fish in general,” Logan said, and he sat forward a little on the seat. “They’re quite fascinating. You don’t need to worry, fangtooth fish are quite small and harmless to humans. They have a maximum size of 6.3 inches.”

Virgil hesitated, and stood up a little. “Oh.” He looked hesitantly back at the screen, because if they weren’t harmful… they did look kind of cool. “How far down are they?”

Logan’s eyes lit up. “You want to know?” he asked in hopeful surprise.

“Uh… sure.”

Logan immediately started to go on a tangent, starting with the fact that the pelagic fangtooths were among the deepest living fish found as far under the ocean at 16,000 feet, but Virgil quickly stopped paying attention when his mind wandered to something else.

_“Virgil! Virgil! Look at this! Lookatit!”_

_Virgil glanced up just in time for Remus to shove something under his nose. Virgil smelled it before he saw it, and a couple seconds later he realized why, as it was a rotting frog._

_“Remus!” he screeched, leaping backwards. “What is wrong with you?!”_

_“Thomas found it behind the school! He ran away fast, but I think I got it pretty good! Isn’t it cool?”_

“Cool?” _Virgil asked in disbelief._

_“Yeah! I might dissect it later. Maybe there’s maggots inside!”_

_“Remus!” Virgil cried, shoving his hands in front of his face. “Gross!”_

_“Thank you!” Remus called happily, before bouncing away._

_Virgil stared after him in disgust. He was fairly sure Remus would always baffle him._

“—and you’re not listening anymore.”

Virgil jerked upwards, gripping the back of the chair, to find Logan looking at him, looking slightly disappointed but trying to mask it under irritation.

Suddenly Virgil didn’t want to talk to Logan anymore.

“I gotta go,” he said, and sunk out without saying goodbye.

…

Roman was never Virgil’s go-to person to hang out with. Thomas choosing theatre as a career was his absolute worst nightmare for more reasons than one, and not the least of which was having to spend more time with Roman.

The prince was an absolute nightmare. The only times they interacted were either when Virgil was trying to undermine Roman’s ideas, Roman was trying to mock Virgil for something he was anxious about, or Virgil was trying to convince him that the part he wanted to try out for was too ambitious.

But Roman never listened, and usually won too, and as a result the part Thomas had gotten for the play he was in now was his first lead role.

Virgil could safely say he had never been more terrified.

But Thomas and Roman both worked their butts off, and they were ready by the night of the show. That didn’t stop Virgil from worrying, but what would?

On opening night, they were both backstage, and Virgil was pacing back and forth as Roman was rolling his eyes and Thomas was staring out at the audience and biting his lip.

It was about a minute before Thomas went on when his understudy, who also had a smaller role, came off the stage.

“Don’t fail,” he hissed cruelly to Thomas, and Roman froze from where Virgil was watching him.

Virgil could sense Thomas’s anxiety suddenly spiking, which was weird, because he was no more anxious than he’d been a second ago. He was already freaking out about the possibility of them failing.

“Oh goodness,” Roman whispered, pulling his hands through his hair. “What if we fail? This is our first lead role. What will Thomas do if he doesn’t nail this? I can’t let Thomas down.”

Virgil stared at Roman for a second, trying to figure out where this was coming from.

_“What if we fail?” Virgil cried out. “This is horrible, this was a horrible idea!”_

_“Virgil, take a breath,” Janus said, pulling Virgil closer to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Thomas can do this. He’s been practicing for months. And it’s a school play. The people who really matter are going to love us in it no matter what.”_

_“But what if they don’t? What if they see Thomas and realize he’s terrible and that he’s never going to amount to anything and that he’s going to let everyone down—”_

_“Virgil. Breathe.”_

_Virgil breathed._

_“Thomas needs to listen for his cue. It’s going to be fine. Okay?”_

_Virgil swallowed, breathed again, and let out a harsh breath to try and psych himself up. “Okay.”_

“Roman,” Virgil said.

Roman glared at Virgil. “Not now—”

“Roman, the people who really matter are going to be proud of Thomas no matter what,” Virgil murmured.

Roman blinked and sighed. “I suppose you have a point. I shouldn’t be focusing on this anyway. Thomas needs to listen for his cue!”

Roman turned back to the stage. Thomas took a deep breath and straightened up as his cue was said, and then marched out onstage. Roman walked out after him, though the audience couldn’t see him of course. Virgil stayed backstage. No way in hell he was going out there.

…

Virgil wasn’t going back. He almost didn’t need too. Patton, Logan, and Roman were not nearly as unfamiliar as Virgil originally expected them to be. They were still different, of course. That was the part that made it easier. But the problem was that Virgil focused more on the differences he saw in order to try and ease the pain of the fact that he actually left. The problem was that it was too late by the time that Virgil put all of the similarities together. By that point he already loved all of them too much.


End file.
